Random Thoughts

3:00 A.M. Thoughts, Part III

... more thoughts that rose to the surface of my mind in the middle of the night

Virginia Hanley

Someone once said to me "If you are in Boston, don't ever ask a Catholic  for directions anywhere." I said, "Why not?" And he said, "This is what you will hear:

"Sure I can tell you how to get to the new mall. You go down Main Street 'til you see the sacred heart, take a right. Go straight down the road til you see the immaculate conception on your left. Keep on going until you get to a set of lights. Go around the old lutheran, keep left and go up the hill. In a few minutes you will come to st. agnes. Keep on going and when the crucified redeemer shows up on the right, the mall is right beside it."

2.  What do you say when you unexpectedly meet someone you have never met before but have heard many things about, all of them unflattering and even derogatory, and the first thing she says is, "Oh, I've always wanted to meet you.  I've heard so many nice things about you."

3. Since nowadays it is very common to give a baby its mother's maiden name as a first name, if Inge had married Walter they could have had a kid named Endter Bender.

4.  If you serve the cat his supper on a paper plate, it means that the dirty dishes in the sink have gotten ahead of you.

5. I don't think I could go to sleep in a house that did not have a jar of peanut butter in it - preferably open.

6. Note to manufacturers of pain relieving pills:  because I have arthritis in my hands, I buy a variety of pain relievers. When I get home, I take the bottle out of the sealed box and discover that I cannot take the top off the bottle because I have arthitis in my hands.

January 7, 2000


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