... let me count the ways
I have no pet for the following reasons: no pet food to buy; no feeding bowls to load and clean; no animal hairs to remove from rugs and furniture; no dog to leap upon and slurp upon visitors; no dog or cat who always wants to be on the other side of the front door. Add to those the task of walking a dog who insists on stopping to sniff every light pole, hydrant and fence, then makes his own contribution to establish his territory. I will add here that I am absolved from do-do duties.
When I leave home for a week-end or longer, I don't have to find a willing neighbor or a kennel to care for said pet.
I have no dog who insists on riding in the co-pilot seat of the car with his head out the window in order to bark at all moving people and other pets. There are no visits to the veterinarian for medicines and pedicures (a luxury which I do not have). And it is not necessary to go through a mourning period after the demise of a so-called companion.
Lest you think I am lonely, I had a loving wife for 37 years who knew when to sit, how to beg and was self-groomed. For companionship, I have a PC, TV, VCR and a radio. I welcome visits from friends, six sons and nine grandchildren. My cup runneth over without pets.
February 7, 2003