Bye, bye birdie
... at least we don't have to worry about the Bruins, Celtics or Red Sox
First we had Killer Bees, then Mad Cow Disease, then Lyme Disease.
Now we have Bird Flu. I'm not taking any chances with this one and have taken the following steps:
Trashed our bird feeder and birdbath.
Bought some stuffed owls.
Canceled our trip to the Canary Islands.
Sold my stock in Perdue Chicken.
Obtained a duck hunting license.
Asked our Animal Control Officer to show the Canada Geese a Canadian Sunset.
Canceled my membership in the Audubon Society and joined the NRA.
To avoid stressful thoughts, I will try and avoid events where Larry Bird may be present. Or articles about sports franchises such as the Cardinals, Bluejays, Seahawks, Falcons, Eagles, Red Wings, Penguins, Mighty Ducks and Thrashers ... even the Toledo Mudhens.
Reprinted with permission from the Melrose Weekly News
December 2, 2005