... ingest these quotations, in jest
George Washington - "Martha, where did I put my teeth? I wooden go out without them."
Thomas Jefferson - (Founding Father, wrote most of the Declaration of Independence) - "There must be a better way. I'm getting writer's cramp."
James Madison - "I found a Dolly I can call my own."
James Monroe - "I have a Doctrine..."
William Henry Harrison - (In the pouring rain of his Inauguration, he caught cold and died one month later). It was his mother who stated, "I told him to wear his rubbers and use an umbrella. They never listen!"
Abraham Lincoln - one of our greatest presidents, rising from poverty, self-taught lawyer. While writing his Gettysburg address on the back of an envelope, he erased "87 years" and replaced it with "Four score and seven years ago... (sounds better, let them figure it out)."
Ulysses S. Grant - Inspired the Groucho Marx brain teaser, "Who is buried in Grant's tomb?"
Theodore Roosevelt - Known for leading his voluntary cavalry, Rough Riders, during the Spanish-American War. His command, "Charge" is still used today at sports events, usually instigated by a bugle call. He is also quoted as saying, "No one who refuses to learn our language deserves to live here."
Franklin D. Roosevelt - "December seventh, 1941, a day that will live infamy." "They even ridicule our little dog Fala."
Harry S. Truman - "The buck stops here." He yearned also "to find a one-armed economic advisor. One who could not say, 'on the other hand.'"
Dwight D. Eisenhower - A brilliant military strategist but he could never remember his vice president's name was not "Nick Dixon."
John F. Kennedy - "Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country."
Lyndon B. Johnson - The only politician known to marry a Lady Bird. According to Victor Borge, LBJ picked him up by the ears and pronounced him a "Great Dane."
Richard M. Nixon - "I am not a crook." He also popularized the phrase, "At this point in time ... "
Gerald R. Ford - On replacing Nixon following Watergate, he declared, "Our long national nightmare is over ... Our Constitution works."
James E. Carter - A likeable farmer from Georgia, but I fail to think of any memorable words from him.
Ronald Reagan - "Well ... "
George H. W. Bush - (Iraq, Kuwait, oil fires. The short war in Iraq could have been over in one more day).
William Clinton - "What is the meaning of 'is'?"
George Dubya Bush - "They have 'nukular' weapons."
February 3, 2006