... never mind
I must confess. A decade, or so, ago I recall perusing the Lovelorn columns looking for a possible Mr. Maybe. Over my morning coffee, I cruised the newspaper on the merest chance that out there, somewhere, was someone.....
I composed a list of my attributes and accomplishments, favorite music, poets, actors, musicians, my heroes and interests. I made a list of what Mr. Wonderful would have to be like.
First of all... he must not be a republican. No matter how attractive, not a republican. He could not be religious, either. On the quiet side might have been nice, but you know... still breathing.
I read all the ads from guys who could still walk on the beach, who were looking for a woman with a job, real estate, "llllaaarrrgggeee tracts of land", who had cooking skills, a gold card, a bank account, no relatives, no baggage and was "weight proportionate".
Recently, I found this gem, which I'd saved all these years. The paper is yellow now but readable:
"Canadian cowboy. Halter broke. Politically incorrect. Good with animals but shoots ecologists on sight. Lies some. Also old, brokedown, woreout, stovein, beatup and bowlegged. Looking for a woman who is the exact opposite. Will settle for less but no cigar smokers. (Respond to "PSP")"
What do you think? Should I have given that guy a call?
Truth be told, I found my Mr. Surprise three decades ago and sadly lost him. So I guess it really wouldn't have mattered how nice Mr. Possible might have been.
June 4, 2010