Social and Political Commentary

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The campaign trail

... here we go again

by Jerry Norton


The fall is once again upon us and time for the next round of presidential hopefuls
to press their cases. And several of their number has been pressing for as long as
we can remember. Your writer, in a spirit of public service, will deign to evaluate
four of these worthies and in no particular order they are:

Let us start with the former governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, son of the
elder “I was brainwashed” Romney. Now while it is true that he didn’t impose a ban
on the consumption of coffee or tea while governor of that Commonwealth, the
possibility lurks that he was concealing his motives until attaining higher office.
The prospect of an agenda which would require men to wear white shirts, neckties and
black trousers could be one of his priorities. You judge.

Now we come to Michele Bachmann, that little lady from Iowa. At first glance she
appears more suited to be a candidate for a part in a high school drama club
production rather than the highest office in the land. Who knows, she might also
have a couple of tattoos hidden somewhere on her person. There does not seem to be
much gravitas about her. Appearance, however, can be deceiving. Consider that Warren
G. Harding looked very presidential, but we are all aware of what a bust his
presidency became.

The Governor of the Lone Star State, Rick Perry, is next on our list. Now it may
seem petty, but we could be justified to harbor some distrust of a person who has a
natural tendency to address only a couple of people as ya’ll. Case in point, I
recall a guy from Virginia who probably spoke that way … Robert E. Lee, by name.
This fellow received four years free bed and board at West Point and then turned to
become a thorn in the side of Abe Lincoln in a four-year civil war. Talk about
biting the hand that fed you.

Last, and probably least, we examine that show-biz personality, Sarah Palin. She’s
pretty clever to keep us all on tenterhooks as to her intentions. But putting that
aside, it’s that head of hair which should be a matter of concern to the electorate.
You may recall the embarrassment that befell our country when, at a state dinner and
without ceremony, George W. Bush slipped out of his chair and fell under the table.
Perish the thought of “President Palin” addressing the UN General Assembly and the
pins which hold that mop of hair in place gave way, causing it to cascade down over
her eyes, rendering her incapable of reading the teleprompter. And the fact that she
can see Russia from her back porch does not make her an expert in foreign affairs.

Despite the potential flaws of the candidates as outlined above, it is still a
distinct possibility that if President Obama was to run against any one of them … He
would probably get his ears pinned back.

October 7, 2011

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