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A Ghost Story

... A Ghastly Tale

Richard Umbro

Ghosts - those seldom seen, thinly veiled, white cloaked, floating inhabitants
of the twilight zone - they have been much maligned for too long a time.  How
can we perceive them as scary creatures when we see "Casper the Ghost"
frolicking about on the screen and television, to the delight of children,
especially the calming effect on the "Terrible Twos."  Do we really need
anymore "Ghost Buster" movies?  Now, it is quite possible that ghosts are,
for all intents and purposes, the good guys in white hats, and they perceive
we earthlings as the heavies in black hats.

To put that in perspective, suppose we gerrymander the context and juxtapose
the content, then it becomes quite possible that the traditional ghosts regard
us earthlings as the true ghosts, and they are terrified of us. For example:
When traditional ghosts visit a mall on any given Saturday, they will encounter
groups of teenagers in various stages of green and blue hair, some in hot pink.
With a gim-crackery of rings festooned in noses, lips, and eyebrows. With eyes
glued to something called cellphones, and wired with earbuds ensconced in their
earlobes: oblivious to the many poles and doors they bump into. Now, will that
not scare even the most seasoned ghost?


And how will most ghosts react if they decided to take in a movie and have to
sit through something called "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" and possibly a
macabre sequel to it. They will vow never to watch an earthling movie again.
At other times, ghostly visitations to museums, of supposedly fine arts,
reveal paintings of tomato cans by someone named Andy. Not particularly scary,
but quite bizarre.  And while viewing an interesting painting by someone named
"Van Ghost," or was that Van Gogh, a footnote revealed that the artist had in
fact cut off part of his ear out of frustrations unknown. Those pristine and
bland corridors of galleries harbor portfolios that will petrify even the ghosts
of the "Marquis de Sade" and the nefarious "Dorian Gray."

And what of the ghosts of yesteryear, who witnessed the gargoyle-like
Quasimodo swinging from a  lofty bell tower without fear; celebrating his
affection for Esmeralda. Befuddling the raucous crowd below by bellowing the
iconic line "We'll always have Paris." Appropriate apologies to "Rick and Ilsa"
(Humphrey and Ingrid).

Now, while attempting to put an end to this ghastly tale, while in one of my
senior moments, I overheard two senior ghosts in conversation. The first one
said, "Do you believe the inhabitants of this planet will ever become normal?
The second one replied, "They don't have a ghost of a chance."  





August 5, 2016


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