... I've saved these in the strangest places and old notebooks. Hope you enjoy
them as much as I have.
It's been one of those days for about three years now.
Tears are words that the heart can't say.
Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.
I saw that. KARMA
I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring.
We are fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. Japanese
Hmmm...and yet another day has passed and I did not use Algebra once. Very
When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under
Young at heart. Slightly older in other places.
I don't think about dying. It's the last thing that I want to do.
The box said it contained two pounds of chocolates so why did I gain ten
I dig. You dig. We dig. They dig. She dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's
I'm only doing it your way so that I can blame you later.
Why does cooking take like six hours and eating like three seconds and washing
dishes like seven days and seven nights?
I was so ugly, my father carried around the picture of the kid who came with
his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield
I am a light eater. As soon as it gets light, I start eating.
I just rolled my eyes so hard, I think I saw my brain.
The sea. Once it casts it's spell, holds one in it's net of wonder...forever.
In a world where you can be anything, be nice.
What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receeding hair line.
Every refrigerator has a crisper drawer which is a great place to hide your
vegetables while they rot.
I keep my house messy so that if someone tries to kill me, they'll trip over
something and die first.
This halo is giving me a headache.
Just remember that someone cares. Not me. I don't care. Someone does though.
The ax forgets. The tree remembers.
You can. End of story.
Any guy looks cool riding a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind
of man you've got, watch him walk through a spider's web.
If every day is a gift, then today was socks.
I'm totally lacking the "zip-pity" part of my "do-dah " day.
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while
It's simple. Never lie to someone who trusts you and never trust someone who
lies to you.
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes, but when
I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.
Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about it.
Date someone who spoils you, always says how beautiful you are and never
thinks that you've had enough to eat. Basically, date your grandma.
Dashing though the snow on a pair of broken skis. Over hills we go, crashing
into trees. I think I'm almost dead. The snow is turning red. I woke up in the
hospital with stitches in my head.
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
Age is not important unless you are cheese.
Some people think that a balanced diet is a burger in each hand.
Dammit I'm mad spelled backward is Dammit I'm mad.
I don't trust joggers. They always find the dead bodies.
The sunset is life's way of saying, "Good job, you survived today. Here's
"Told you so", sincerely, Your Intuition.
Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with
flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision.
Whoever said that small things don't matter has never seen a match start a
Do things for people, not because of who they are or what they do in return,
but because of who you are. Mother Teresa
I'm fairly certain that the person who put the first "R" in February also
decided how to spell Wednesday.
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
Later that night, I held an atlas in my lap, ran my fingers across the whole
world and whispered, "Where does it hurt?" It answered, "Everywhere.
April 7, 2017